Tuesday, October 26, 2010

You're Freaking Kidding Me!!!

Ok, so it's 5 days until my Nutritionist appt, and she is having me journal everything I eat, and when I eat, and why I eat for 3 weekdays, and 2 weekend days.  It's a challenge to remember to do it, but I got into the swing of it again quickly, flashbacking to my weight watcher days. 

I try not to let my writing influence what I ate, to keep it real, but just the fact that you are conscious of what you eat, restricts what you eat.  It was kind of like a pre-mini-diet.
I did good though, and was 100% honest.

So on to today....
At 9:00 is my nutritionist appointment.  I go to check in, and the old bats at the desk are all flustered and confused and send me to wait.  When they call me back up, they tell me that my appointment was cancelled because insurance did not approve it.  UMMM CRAP???
So, I call the surgeon's office, and they confirm that insurance was denied, that it just wouldn't cover the sleeve done by a civilian doctor. 

Well, I get back to my car, and do the only thing I have a choice to do.  I call the Army Hospital. 
I am still on their bypass list.  (ohhhh, quick flashback....)
A week or so ago, before the Hospital A seminar, I get a call from the Army hospital head nurse telling me they won't be doing any bypasses til after the first of the year.  Me, being honest to a fault, tell her I am attempting to have surgery at Hospital A.  She asks if I'm having the sleeve done, and when I said yeah, cuz that's all they offer, she says "oh, well, I can offer you the sleeve surgery on the 21st of this month.  You'd have to start your liquid diet now."
JAW ON FLOOR.  Wow, tempting.  But I REALLY want to have it done at the nice, clean civilian hospital, and my husband won't even be home until November anyhow, so thank you but no. 
I asked about dates in November, and again, she refused to say anything.

Ok, back to present day.  I call this head nurse back, and ask to switch from bypass to sleeve at the army hospital.  She informs me that I will be going from #2 to............#10 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I hem and haw, she advises me to go with the surgery that I think is right for me, not just the one that will happen sooner.  So, RELUCTANTLY, I remove myself from Gastric and #2, and onto the sleeve list at #10.  UGH.

Then I just lose it.  An entire year comes crashing down on me at once.  6 months of waiting on a non moving list.....  I am in the parking lot bawling.  I just know I won't get this surgery done for another 6 mos to a year. My husband is gone for the month, so I call him (praying he'll actually pick up) and leave a blubbering bawling message for him about what happened.  My mom was in town overnight, and she didn't pick up either.  When she calls back, she has a near heart attack thinking I'd been in an accident. 

She does her best to calm me down, and have me look on the brite side. 
I'm glad she was home though.  It's SO much worse when there's no one anywhere.
She left within the hour, but she was there when I needed her.

So, here I am.  Back to waiting.  Mom suggested I begin being proactive, and start dieting on my own.
After having journalled for 5 days, I'm sort of ready. 
I just don't know what kind of diet.  I can't exercise worth a crap due to my bum foot, and I have no money for weight watchers.  I do know the program though.

I'm soooo frustrated and beat down. 
Mom says things happen for a reason, and if I hadn't tried to switch, I wouldn't have changed my mind to the sleeve, so I guess she's right. 
I'm just ready to start my new life, you know?? 

So, here I sit, writing my tale.  I know I skipped a bunch of details, but I'll probably get to them one day. 
I do plan on posting pictures showing my progress both pre surgery diet and post surgery (if it ever happens).

Thanks for reading!!!


Iva said...

even though you have no money for ww why don't you do what you remember from there.

Manda said...

I probably will. It was the most successful of my many diet attempts. :)

Angela said...

Yeah go for it. Plus you can do lots of arm cardio. Or walk slowly a lot too. That is how I started, I walked a LOT really slow. Good luck!