Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Explanation: What's Been Going On

Well, sorry for my last post, and my lack of posting.  Its been the hardest week of my entire life.
On Friday my husband asked for a divorce over Yahoo IM while being deployed.
I will spare all the details, but I will say that, to me, this came out of left field.

I will say though, that before joining the army, and before having weight loss surgery, PLEASE pray long and hard, and weigh whether its worth risking your marriage or not.
Of course I thought my hubby and I were above all that, and couldn't be touched. 
Apparently, we too, are human.

He thinks we have grown apart, and have lost our love.  I can't deny that to a point, but I can deny it being over.  I am, and have let him know that, I was sealed in the temple to him for time and all eternity, and I have every intention of staying with him.  
He is not taking this very well.  He's doing all he can to convince me its over.

As of now, we have discussed dividing assets, and are separated.  Since he's already far far away, we are simply limiting our interaction with each other.  Its been.....different to say the least.

The bright news out of all of this, is it has brought me back to the church.  I immediately knew I needed my faith and the Lord to get me through this.  I went this past Sunday, and really enjoyed myself.  I spoke with the bishop, and he gave me some good councel. 

Within a matter of days, I have become a completely different person.  I am calm, and at peace, and full of faith for whatever may come.  This is not to say I haven't had a few breakdowns, but once its over, i am full of peace again, and can get up and dust myself off.

The second "good thing" to come of all this, is I have been dropping weight like crazy.  I can't stomach much food, and I have been exercising 2-3 times a day!  I hit and passed 250 the other day, and hit and passed losing 60 lbs.  i am now 246 and 61 lbs down.

Anyways....I do not hate my husband.  I love him as much now as I always have.  I'm not 100% sure we'll get through this, and I am preparing for the worst, but I am praying and hoping for the best.
In the meantime, we will stay married until he comes home from deployment. 

Hope I didn't bum anyone out too much.  Baby, if you happen to read this.  I miss you and I love you.  Good night,

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Life Sucks Then We Die

Well, life basically sucks right now.
On the bright side, the stress has made me drop 5 more lbs.

oh, and no more pink, i have many reasons for the change, and i don't wanna go into it.