Monday, September 10, 2012

THIRTY. Identity Confusion.....?

Well, my birthday recently came and went.  I'm officially 30.  Yep.  THIRTY. 
I keep telling myself that only the best is yet to come.  I mean, my twenties weren't all that spectacular anyhow, so my thirties should be better.

I have hit another milestone.  This morning I hit 179.9 lbs.  I am 2.9 lbs away from having lost 130 lbs total.  To emphasize the hugeness of being in the 170's....let me paint a little picture for you.
When I was 12, I was a chubby kid, and was watching Oprah with my mother.  The episode was on Fat Camps, and a lady in the audience commented how she weighed the most she'd ever weighed in her whole life, at 175.  I bawled to my mama, because I weighed more than that.  I just KNEW a fat camp would help me to lose weight.
Well, I never got to go to fat camp, but she did take me to Jenny Craig.  I was 12 years old, in sixth grade, and doing Jenny Craig.  I was pretty strict with the diet, and lost 15 lbs I think. 
I am now at the weight I was when I was twelve.  Its mindboggling.

Here's a sample of what I looked like back then....

 I wasn't fat fat, but I was always big.  Or "tall".  I could never share clothes with my friends.  In fact, I actually wore my mother's wedding dress in a fashion show at age 11.  Anyways....same size now.
I tell ya, it can be confusing to live your whole life thinking, acting, and feeling one way, and all of a sudden you're allowed to be another.  It was similar when I removed myself from my church for a time.  I had never acted or behaved a certain way, and all of a sudden I was "allowed" to, and it was strange. 
I ran across a picture I'd never seen before in my mom's camera.  Here it is:

This was taken August 12, 2010.  I showed my husband (to clarify the man in the picture is my ex husband) and he said simply, "That's not you".    It's not.  This person doesn't exist anymore.  I certainly don't recognize her.  I don't have anything in common with her anymore either.  Well, my heart, sence of humor, and a few hobbies, but that's it. 

It actually pains me to look at old pictures.  Especially ones that, for a long time, I considered to be "skinny Manda".  Even pictures a few months ago, merely a few pounds ago, I see fat. 
Tell me you don't see the difference??  I believe this is about a 20 lb difference, from January to today.

 It's become a bit of an obsession, but its working, so I'm good with it. 
I track every morsel that enters my mouth with the MyFitnessPal app.
I ride my (new!!) bike at least once a day, usually at least an hour.  I've had to take the past couple days off due to being sick though, which stinks.

Here's our new bikes.  My hubby is making it his passion, its so inspiring watching him give it his all.
I'm building at my own pace, but it's still exciting, and I can still see results.
Here's a few shots for ya....

We even got an indoor trainer for at night and rainy days.  Told ya he was hard core.  :)
For my birthday/our late honeymoon, the inlaws treated us to join them for the weekend in Sea World.  We had a lot of fun on the river walk and at Sea World.

Last month, a friend of ours visited and ended up adopting Garfield.  I'm very happy for this setup, as Garfield now has the rule of the roost.  He's been re-named Goober Heimer Poo Head, or just Goober for short.  LOL!!

I had a few rescues myself this month.  I rescued a baby possom from the middle of the street, a little dog from the middle of the street (in the middle of the night), and 5 two week old siamese kittens from under my mother's shed.  All have been rehomed.  But all were so sweet.

Well, I better wrap this up.  My twenties weren't horrible, but I was overweight, unhappy, and had a failed marriage.  My thirties should be full of skinniness, activities, and a happy marriage.  Hopefully some chitlins thrown in there too.
TA-TA for now!!