Monday, September 10, 2012

THIRTY. Identity Confusion.....?

Well, my birthday recently came and went.  I'm officially 30.  Yep.  THIRTY. 
I keep telling myself that only the best is yet to come.  I mean, my twenties weren't all that spectacular anyhow, so my thirties should be better.

I have hit another milestone.  This morning I hit 179.9 lbs.  I am 2.9 lbs away from having lost 130 lbs total.  To emphasize the hugeness of being in the 170's....let me paint a little picture for you.
When I was 12, I was a chubby kid, and was watching Oprah with my mother.  The episode was on Fat Camps, and a lady in the audience commented how she weighed the most she'd ever weighed in her whole life, at 175.  I bawled to my mama, because I weighed more than that.  I just KNEW a fat camp would help me to lose weight.
Well, I never got to go to fat camp, but she did take me to Jenny Craig.  I was 12 years old, in sixth grade, and doing Jenny Craig.  I was pretty strict with the diet, and lost 15 lbs I think. 
I am now at the weight I was when I was twelve.  Its mindboggling.

Here's a sample of what I looked like back then....

 I wasn't fat fat, but I was always big.  Or "tall".  I could never share clothes with my friends.  In fact, I actually wore my mother's wedding dress in a fashion show at age 11.  Anyways....same size now.
I tell ya, it can be confusing to live your whole life thinking, acting, and feeling one way, and all of a sudden you're allowed to be another.  It was similar when I removed myself from my church for a time.  I had never acted or behaved a certain way, and all of a sudden I was "allowed" to, and it was strange. 
I ran across a picture I'd never seen before in my mom's camera.  Here it is:

This was taken August 12, 2010.  I showed my husband (to clarify the man in the picture is my ex husband) and he said simply, "That's not you".    It's not.  This person doesn't exist anymore.  I certainly don't recognize her.  I don't have anything in common with her anymore either.  Well, my heart, sence of humor, and a few hobbies, but that's it. 

It actually pains me to look at old pictures.  Especially ones that, for a long time, I considered to be "skinny Manda".  Even pictures a few months ago, merely a few pounds ago, I see fat. 
Tell me you don't see the difference??  I believe this is about a 20 lb difference, from January to today.

 It's become a bit of an obsession, but its working, so I'm good with it. 
I track every morsel that enters my mouth with the MyFitnessPal app.
I ride my (new!!) bike at least once a day, usually at least an hour.  I've had to take the past couple days off due to being sick though, which stinks.

Here's our new bikes.  My hubby is making it his passion, its so inspiring watching him give it his all.
I'm building at my own pace, but it's still exciting, and I can still see results.
Here's a few shots for ya....

We even got an indoor trainer for at night and rainy days.  Told ya he was hard core.  :)
For my birthday/our late honeymoon, the inlaws treated us to join them for the weekend in Sea World.  We had a lot of fun on the river walk and at Sea World.

Last month, a friend of ours visited and ended up adopting Garfield.  I'm very happy for this setup, as Garfield now has the rule of the roost.  He's been re-named Goober Heimer Poo Head, or just Goober for short.  LOL!!

I had a few rescues myself this month.  I rescued a baby possom from the middle of the street, a little dog from the middle of the street (in the middle of the night), and 5 two week old siamese kittens from under my mother's shed.  All have been rehomed.  But all were so sweet.

Well, I better wrap this up.  My twenties weren't horrible, but I was overweight, unhappy, and had a failed marriage.  My thirties should be full of skinniness, activities, and a happy marriage.  Hopefully some chitlins thrown in there too.
TA-TA for now!!

Thursday, August 16, 2012


Hey everyone!  I hit a new record with my weight loss, so I thought I'd update the ol' blog.
I have lost 125 lbs now!!!
I had been at a stall for about 6+ months.  So, I finally decided to take a stand!!
I took the "5 Day Pouch Test", to re-vamp my weight loss.
It went like this:
"Days One & Two: Liquid Protein
low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding. Read more.
Day 3: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy. Read more.
Day 4: Firm Protein
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut. Read more.
Day 5: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game"

It was tough, but it really reminded me of what I needed to be doing.

About the same time, I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app on my phone, and tracked everything I consumed.  This REALLY opened my eyes. 
I had been counting foods like cheese, nuts, and peanut butter as "free foods" because they were low in carbs.  I was flabbergasted when I started counting the calories from them.  EEEEP!!!
Just a few bitesof peanut butter with some celery was 290 calories!!!!!

It's a bit of a challenge watching my carbs and my calories, but it's definitely working. 
With the 5 day pouch test, I lost six pounds in a week.
In the last month, I've lost 10 lbs total.

In addition to all this, my husband and I have taken up cycling.  He used to cycle, and is getting back into shape, and training to compete.
I am a step back from that, training to ride long and hard, and to exercise and get fit.
I will work right alongside with him, but my diet and his are polar opposite.
He's been studying what to eat, and it says 3000 calories, and 700 carbs daily. 
MY diet calls for 1200 calories and less than 50 carbs a day.  OY!!  BIIIG difference!!
But I am SO proud of him, and his focus is so great.

So far, my best is about 7-8 miles, and about an hour at a time.  I've only been going a week though, so little bit by little bit!

Here are my latest weight loss shots for ya, taken today.
Sporting my cycle outfit too.  :P

The only thing negative I have to report is just an ugly fact with weight loss surgery, or massive weight loss.  And that is extra skin.  I, fortunately don't have it too bad in the tummy area, but it's real bad in my arms.  Almost to an embarrassing extent.  I do plan to one day (asap) to have brachioplasty or an arm lift on my arms.  It runs about $4000 an arm.  So, guess I should start saving up now, huh?
But I really can't complain too much.  My arms are still way smaller than they've ever been, and I try not to dwell on them too much. 

Thanks for reading, and I'll keep you posted!!
<3 Manda

Friday, June 8, 2012

I'm Still Here, I Swear!

Wow, I tend to forget sometimes about where I came from, and that I should document the progression more.  So, here I am to catch up a bit.

I've been in our new home on the coast for 4 months now.  It's so strange living in a high tourist area.  We actually make an extra dollar an hour at work all summer to accommodate the busy-ness. 

I got promoted at work.  I am a Customer Service Manager now.  :)  
It's brought both good and bad with it.  A LOT of haters have shown their faces, including girls who were my "friends" before I got the position as their boss.  One gal won't make eye contact with me - ever, especially when I have to ask her something, or tell her to do something.  She'll bad mouth me like no other though.  I'm holding my own, and doing a good job though.

It's a lot more stressful than I'd imagined.  There's a lot more responsibility than there appears to be on the surface.  Lots of running around, being everywhere at once, fixing everyone's problems, and always with a smile on your face.  I like it though.  And if all goes well, I can anticipate another promotion in 6 months. 

For Mother's Day, I organized a family portrait session.  I do believe it turned out smashing.
It was important for me, because since our last family photo (in 2005), I have lost one husband, and gained another, lost (almost) 120 lbs, and gained a nephew. 

Okay, Left to right:  My Mommy and Daddy, our newest addition: Isaac, then in the back its my brother and sister in law, then me, and my Daniel.  In the front are my 3 older nephews. 

This is my favorite shot....

My weight loss is....still there I guess.  I've been beating myself up, but looking back to my last blog, I've lost a few more pounds.  I am sooo close to -120 lbs its not funny.  I hit 189 (187 is -120) and then it went back up into the 190's.  I went a few weeks-months being very lax on my carbs.  I'd eat "healthy carbs" like fruit and whole wheat crackers (and candy *cough*), and would gain and lose the same 10 lbs over and over again. 
Now I've been straight  for 3 weeks now.....and I'm hovering on the low 190's, just refusing to hit the 180's again.  It's frustrating, but I'm not caving, or haven't yet at least.

I am a solid 14/16 pant size now.  I even fit into some 12's.  I can wear Medium and Large tops no problem, and try on smalls that are cute, and about 1/2 the time can fit them.
I just bought a dress today that is a size 6.  It's stretchy, and some spanx may be needed to smooth things out, but it fits!!  :P

This dress here is an 8:

This past Sunday, we had a big multi-stake meeting.  When I saw my cousin walk by well into the meeting, I stood up to flag her down to sit by us.  She smiled, came over, and then looked at me and gasped.  She hadn't realized it was me!  She thought I was just some nice *skinny* lady who was giving her an extra seat.  :D  
Another old friend was in the bathrooms, and I said "Hi".  She politely said "Hi" back, and then goes "OH!! Amanda!!  I didn't even recognize you!!  You're all skinny and blonde!!"    :D

I FEEL small(er), but I am still seeing the 50 lbs I have left.  So when someone compliments me, I add a "but" to it.  Several ladies from work ask if I'm losing weight and how, and one gal asked if I worked out cuz I was "FIIINE".  Umm.....thank you??

I gotta say I love living on the beach.  We frequently go on long walks (on the beach, cliche' I know, lol) but its so rejuvenating.  We swim occasionally, but I like the walks better.
We've even started to learn how to Flow Ride.  No good whatsoever, but its fun, and we look hawt in our wetsuits. 

One day for my lunch break, I even sat on the beach.  It was so nice and relaxing.
This was my view:

Last weekend my parents and brother and nephews came up for a quick visit.  We rented the 4 wheel bikes and rode it along the beach.  It was so fun.  We had never done it before.  My oldest nephew and I were shouting "HIIII!!!" to everyone we passed, and he would not stop ringing the bike bell.
Our legs were like jelly afterward, and I had to leave early to go to work, but I won't ever forget it.

Daniel and I have gotten to go to the temple a few times.  I love living close to it.  I love having a temple recommend and actually being able to go.  It's such a blessing that I didn't know I was missing.  We've been active in our Ward here, and are Nursery workers.....which  :)
Giving us a crash course for when we have our own. 

The animals are good.  I know the dogs miss their backyard, but they haven't said anything about it yet.  ;)
We take them on short walks to potty, and occasionally long walks on the beach.
We're battling fleas, which is oh so fun, and such a losing battle. 
It's surprisingly not too insane living in an apartment with all of them.  Wouldn't be the same without them.  I will wrap up my blog with a couple shots of my babies.  We still have Garfield too.  We've tried a few times to adopt him out, but I think he's family now, and we're stuck with each other. 
I'll try my best to write more often....just crazy busy with work and such.